"That's more like it!" were the first words that came to mind for me walking out of Expendables 2. I had a serious problem with the first film. I was certain it was going to be the ultimate action film I always dreamed of. Instead, I got an incoherent, jokey pile of of poorly shot diarrhea. It was ugly to look at, the story was a chaotic disaster and the tone fluctuated wildly from self-referential cheese to maudlin, unearned sentimentality. In short, it was a damn mess. Expendables 2 is a damn mess as well, but one that at least knows what it's doing and correctly caters to those of us who actually were die-hard (no pun intended) 80's action fans.
I grew up on the films of Arnold, Sly, Seagal and JCVD. They inspired me to begin my lifelong commitment to physical fitness (well, maybe not so much Seagal's films). As much as I regret to admit the end result being an emotionally constipated 35 year old man, these dudes were my template for masculinity. Stoic, steroidal and inclined to solve every problem with an arm break or a punch in the throat. Looking back, they were probably poor role models, but, it was the 80's. There was a cold war on and we needed muscled up proxy's fighting our imagined battles. We impressionable young dudes all had our G.I. Joe's and reveled in enacting tiny conflicts with our tiny men. In any case, I'm a grown up now and can recognize the trumped up lunacy of the decade as nostalgic kitsch. Thankfully, Expendables 2 does the same.
The tone is pitch perfect here, moving briskly from one action scene to the next, with brief respites for small character moments or contrived plot machinations, then on to the next explosive blowout. If you stop to think for even one second about the ludicrous story or non-existent acuity of spatial relation, the whole thing falls apart like a house of cards. There were moments where I caught myself questioning why Statham and the team split up, or how they got back someplace so fast or why they bothered to have someone pop in only to have them unceremoniously exit three minutes later, but then I shrugged it off and simply enjoyed being caught up in the blood pumping excitement of it all. The response to a film like this is Pavlovian. Either you're conditioned and it works on you, or you're not and you just shake your head quizzically.
The first action sequence is a stunner and immediately dispelled my lingering concerns from the original film. Expendables 2 is shot by a pro and looks great. The cuts are still quick, but the rhythm is spot on and things aren't so damn shaky, save for one crash landing where the budgetary limitations are painfully evident. West wisely opts not to rely on close ups and chooses lighting schemes that are both artistic to behold and forgiving toward the aged actors. Stallone fares the worst in that regard. His garbled, subterranean voice is painful to listen to and he seems in excruciating agony whenever the script calls upon him to run. But he's a great anchor and team leader nonetheless. He has presence and charisma to spare. Crews and Couture are given as little to do as before, but acquit themselves competently. They shoehorn in some clunky exposition for Dolph's character to be an MIT Fulbright scholar as he is in real life, but it's mercifully brief and Lundgren primarily serves as the unhinged comic relief to splendid effect.
The real reason I was excited for this film though, was to see JCVD on the big screen again. I always felt him to be the most charismatic of the big 4 action gods and certainly the most emotionally honest actor of the bunch. To his credit, Expendables 2 only feels like a real film when he's on screen. It's mostly a bunch of washed up musclemen clowning to the cheap seats, but VanDamme's villainous Vilain finally gives the film teeth when he shows up. His first scene is magnificent and easily the best moment in the film. He's absolutely righteous as some sort of mercenary/eurotrash/satanic cult leader.
His fluid and imposing physicality poses a very credible threat to Stallone that makes the end of the film come across as an actual denouement, unlike that garbage with Eric Roberts that concluded Expendables. The face off between Sly and JCVD leading up to their final fight is the most homoerotic moment in action cinema next to Bennett and Matrix's boiler room conversation in Commando. It's a howler and worth the price of admission alone for those that get an ironic kick out of such things. JCVD is simply my favorite thing about this film. I genuinely wish there was more of him. The delicious way he delivers lines such as "Don't Challenge me" in his bizarre, Belgian accent elevate the whole affair. Scott Adkins is dynamic as well as the supporting villain. He appears to be VanDamme's understudy and I would gladly welcome him throwing his hat into the action star ring. He was marvelous in Assassination Games and I can't wait to see him and JCVD paired up for my most anticipated action film of the year, Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning.
Expendables 2 is what I wanted Expendables to be. Sure, it's messy and doesn't quite know what to do with all its innumerable components, but it mostly gets the job done and manages to not be a headache inducing assault on the eyes. It is its namesake in regard to action cinema. Disposable and unnecessary, but great fun nonetheless. I appreciate it most for serving as a reminder of how great JCVD is. He was always the real deal as far as an action lead is concerned. I enjoyed spending time with these brutes again and wouldn't mind the prospect of another adventure. That's a damn sight better than I had to say last time out.
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