Thanks to Netflix and Amazon's illustrious streaming services, I was able to take in Paranorman, The Raven and Ted this past weekend. While none of these films made much of an impact on me (in all honesty I dozed off for about 10 minutes of Paranorman), I feel compelled to adhere to my previously stated goal of documenting my impression of all 2012 releases I witness. On top of that, I just now realized I totally blanked on writing up Frankenweenie when I saw it this Fall. So, with all the unbridled enthusiasm typically reserved for dotting an i or crossing a t, let us get this tepid quadrilogy on the books.
I had heard good things about Frankenweenie from most critics. I personally thought Dark Shadows was a lot of fun and continue to argue that Sweeney Todd is a borderline masterpiece, so I don't fall into the camp of modern day Tim Burton detractors. I'll admit his kiddie movies could most generously be described as horseshit, but give him an adult tone and ample budget to work with and he can still produce magic. Unfortunately, Frankenweenie is a slight, pointless tale too reverent of the past to appeal to youngsters and too slipshod in its storytelling to matter to mature audiences. It doesn't commit to its purported moral lesson and it isn't funny, so apart from begrudgingly respecting the tremendous amount of work that clearly went into the animation, there's no reason to recommend this film to anyone. I have always detested the look of claymation crap like this, so that didn't help matters much.
Which brings me to Paranorman, a film with a similar look, but infinitely more successful when it comes to using stop motion as a delivery system for its lesson laden narrative and comic relief. There were things I caught myself laughing aloud at during the film. More often than not it was John Goodman's grotesque character, but there is a slew of clever asides sprinkled throughout. It is colorful and creepy and the ending packs a surprisingly emotional wallop (Jodelle Ferland's typecasting shackles apparently extend to animated features as well as live action). It's just that the lesson is for 7 year olds and I'm a grown up man with a son who is even too old for the film. It's well constructed and its intentions are commendable, it's just nothing I need to ever see again. A final note on these two films: What the hell is up with claymation dudes and their obscene proportional perspective of the female rear end? Tone it down you perverts, these flicks are supposed to be for kids.
The Raven is a terrible film. It suffers from atrocious editing that renders much of the proceedings indecipherable. It's also anchored by a career ending performance from John Cusack in which he portrays Poe as the most obnoxious asshole who ever donned a cloak. The thing is though, I kind of loved it. It is schlock of the highest order. It moves quickly, without thought, rarely considering the baffling twists and turns it takes. Its central mystery is a total non-starter, its protagonist a grating dickhead who won't stop screaming. Yet I must sheepishly admit to being enchanted by its moody milieu, grim aesthetic palette and morose mindset. There are some admittedly clever bon mots bandied back and forth, all in the service of a plot whose mechanics are sub-moronic at best. What can I say? I like Gothic, melodramatic cheese like this. It hits the sweet spot for me. Apart from my ironic endorsement, I must genuinely sing the praises of Luke Evans work in The Raven and in general. The camera loves him and he has very natural, casual charisma that translates excellently onscreen. If you want a serious Poe film, check out the Stuart Gordon helmed Masters of Horror entry, The Black Cat starring Jeffrey Combs, who fully inhabits the role. If you want forgettable entertainment to enjoyably ridicule, seek out The Raven.
Ted is fine. Like Frankenweenie, it also wimps out on the dramatic lesson it deigns to impart. Unlike Frankenweenie, it mostly earns its sentimental moments, so that's something of a minor miracle. I like McFarlane's cartoon shows a great deal and this is exceedingly reminiscent of them. The rapid-fire pop culture riffing works better in the animated format however. Outside the loving exaltation of the 1980 Flash Gordon film, most of the references feel forced and fall flat. There's some laughs here and there and the chemistry between Mcfarlane's Ted and Wahlberg is tangible, no doubt buoyed by some impressive and subtle CGI work on the titular bear. It just isn't anything special. Nowhere near as raunchy as it thinks it is and with only as many laughs as a decent Family Guy episode, it simply didn't impress me The film only truly came to life during the extended Sam Jones cameo section. Flash Gordon and its Queen soundtrack were a huge part of my adolescence, so I gleefully appreciated being catered to. Ultimately though, Ted is middling, obvious humor aimed at the easily pleased Hangover demographic. It doesn't surprise me it performed so muscularly at the box office. That's all well and good, but I'll reserve my side splitting guffaws for the anti-humor of Tim and Eric, or just some plain, good old fashioned Frank Drebin.
As the year comes to a close and I endeavor to write up all that I see theatrically, these 2012 flicks I didn't catch on the big screen will continue streaming in through Netflix and other avenues. I will do my best to find a middle ground between being thorough and getting my year end retrospective completed in a timely fashion. By which I mean before February. Hopefully. It's been enlightening to keep track of an entire year of current releases. I've often talked about doing this, but have never matched my effort to my designs until 2012, so thanks much for reading!
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