Sadface: John Mayer Breaks Up With Katy Perry Over E-Mail

Oh, Johnny. It’s been a little while since we heard about 21st-century pop music’s most legendary heartbreaker getting up to his old tricks, and we’d hoped that maybe with the long hair and the hat and all, he had learned to chill it with that shit. But looks like John Mayer’s back up to his old tricks with most recent celebrity ex Katy Perry, who he reportedly dumped about a week ago.

The dumping itself—over her “hard-partying” ways, supposedly, which, whatever dude—isn’t so bad, and we probably knew they weren’t meant to be anyway. But alas, Hollywood Life now reports that Mayer did the deed over e-mail—better than a Post-It, perhaps, but still the coward’s way out—and Katy “was furious and really hurt. She was into him, but he wasn’t feeling it.” We haven’t gotten a CC on the e-mail yet, but we’re but it looked something like this:

Kat—

What’s up babe. Sorry not feeling it anymore. Think I left my jean jacket at your place could you send a guy over with that?

Thanks babe. See you at the AMAs.

Vaya con D,

JM

The good news about this: We are now one ex closer to our dream of a “We Are the World”-style benefit single for John Mayer celebrity dumpees. Imagine it—Taylor starts off the performance of “Dear John” at the Grammys, then opens up a curtain to reveal an entire choir of famous exes singing “Dear Joohhhhhhhn, I see it all now it was wroooooooong.” All proceeds go to a communal fund for tissues and cookie dough. We’d buy a copy.

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