Silent Hill Revelation 3D is a difficult film to discuss. On the one hand, it's so bewilderingly incompetent that I almost feel compelled to recommend taking a gander at the train wreck, but on the other, it's so boring I'd have to say just don't bother. This is a film so brain dead, it can't even be accused of insulting the intelligence of its audience, for it seems to exist in a world bereft of even the concept of intelligence. I'm a fairly big fan of the stylish, moody and violently grim original film, so I was quite excited when I heard there was a sequel on the way. Even more so when I saw so many names from the first film attached.
Unfortunately, it became evident about 5 minutes in this was a disastrous fiasco and the director had no idea how to construct a passable scene, let alone a scare. The possibility of a mood being evoked was entirely out of the question. As the film wore on and ground me down, it became clear the returning cast were glorified cameo's at best. I'd be shocked if Radha Mitchell's scene required more than half a day in front of a green screen to shoot. Carrie Ann Moss, Martin Donavan and Malcom McDowell also show up to degrade their resumes handily, slumming to a degree I wouldn't imagine necessary for them.
Early on, the film barrels through exposition in such a boldly obvious manner, it almost seems to be trying to draw attention to how wretched a job it does bringing us up to speed. It largely ignores the artful, esoteric ending of the original and keeps on making shit up as it goes. The film never seems to decide what exactly is going on, who the threat is, what the rules of its world are or why we should care about the proceedings. Scenes bleed into one another with no discernible rhyme or reason, things are brought up that seem important, then are never mentioned again. The movie lurches about like a confused drunk, unsure of where it's going and unable to comprehend where it's been.
I saw this in a sparsely attended noon screening and the discomfiture in the theater was palpable. There was a collective embarrassment not only with ourselves for having purchased a ticket to this shoddy groaner, but for the film itself. It was like watching a contestant warble out of tune on American Idol, oblivious to how amateurish their performance is. We all sat there, buttocks clenched, waiting impatiently for a gong that took ninety five minutes to be sounded. Once the credits mercifully began to roll, we all shrugged and tried to avoid eye contact as we silently filed out. That's all I have to say about Silent Hill Revelations 3D
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